Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
