I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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