I think im going to throw up on grandma
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
