Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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