Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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