If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
