i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
