You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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