Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
