so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
