...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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