I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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