so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
