I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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