So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize