Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
