i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The air taste purple.
Randomize
