he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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