Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
