In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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