He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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