Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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