we have officially lost it.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
