Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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