btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
