I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
