I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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