I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
