You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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