are you still at the devil's house?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
