I want to walk on stilts...naked
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize