I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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