I smell stomach acid.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
