Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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