Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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