How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
