I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My bed smells like the plague
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
