I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
