So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
