I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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