aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
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I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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