Sacagawea was the original milf.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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