I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
