You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
...so i touched it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
