so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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