Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
