just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
