literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
