Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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