Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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