so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
