just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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