I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
