I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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