covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
