Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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