then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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