We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
