I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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