dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
